The Beauty of All Things

That's my grandmother in the ICU this past May. She had a tear in the stomach because of some medication and was bleeding internally. She spent 3 days in the hospital. My mom knew something was wrong since she wasn't eating much at all the weeks before. She was just about 50 pounds at the time.

My grandmother was a country girl. She never had a proper education. She knows numbers and that's about it. She's been very stubborn all her life. Anyway, since she came out from the hospital, all she does is lie around in bed and watch TV when she has the strength. She's now too weak to walk you see. My grandmother took care of my family for years on end, and for the past years, it was finally my mother's turn to care for her in return. It's been a tough road for everyone. For the past 4 months, grandma has been wearing adult diapers but refuses to use it. My folks had an reclining hospital bed put in, but grandma would still try to climb over the bars and use the commode in the room herself in the middle of the night. Mom help her to the commode around midnight and about 7am in the morning just in case. But when grandma does climb over, she usually makes it but can't get back up on the bed, or that she makes a mess of herself first and then lies on the floor and just waits for my mother to help her back up. I had even put in a baby monitor in her room but my mom can't really watch her 24 hours a day.

I've been heading home to see them every weekend. It's not easy to see them like this. My mother's health isn't good either; she's close to 80 herself. About once a week my grandmother would have an 'episode' and soil herself, her sheets and carpet and everything else. My mom would spend the entire day cleaning up the place. Wash all the sheets and blankets, my grandmother's clothes and including my grandma and herself. It's an all day affair. My mother has a weak heart and last week she spent a night at the hospital again because of her poor health. It happened this past weekend and I had to life my grandma into the tub. At one time in my life, this 50lb-woman took care of me, fed me, bathe me, took me to school and everything else...

My dad called me up last night and said that they have finally decided to place grandma in a convalescent home. My parents have done their research and there's a really 'good' home with some Chinese-speaking nurses. My mom and dad simply can't handle it anymore. It's heart wrenching but it is what it is. I dread the day and it's happening this Friday. The one thing that I'm afraid is that the home might restraint my grandmother since she likes to climb down the bed herself. But that's what they do when people do that. They don't want them to fall. Total submission. Nobody likes that. Seems like so many things are happening...

The above photo was taken about a month ago. I'll be heading home tomorrow to see my grandmother one last time in the house.